by Dale Carnegie
Part 3: How to win people to your way of thinking.
It would be beneficial to highlight two points within this part of the book–both pertaining to finding yourself in an argument or disagreement with another person. Carnegie says, “Show respect for other people’s opinions, never say ‘You’re wrong.'” The second you make the other person feel like they’re wrong, you begin dealing with their defense system. At that point, most productivity is squandered. No one likes it when it is pointed out they are wrong, if a little tact and diplomacy is used to give the same opinion, that can go a long way to keep defenses down.
The second point that closely follows the first is, “If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.” Admitting when you are wrong or have made a mistake really keeps things from escalating into something much worse, and it creates a sense of honestly with the person you are dealing with. They will be quicker to respect you if you own up to mistakes.
Part 4: Be a leader: How to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment.
Being a leader is something everyone should strive for in their lives, whether at work or at home. One of the tougher aspects of being a good leader is giving people feedback or criticism on tasks they are doing poorly. “Begin with praise and honest appreciation” says Carnegie. Start off by giving the positives, and give them honestly. That can be a good way to lead into the negative aspects you desire to correct. Like Carnegie explains, “Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain. The patient still gets a drilling, but the Novacain is pain-killing.”
